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Why Are There No Grooms Magazines?

It's no secret that men in general have a hard time committing. Few men grow up with the life-long dream of walking down the isle with a bride. At eighteen, they don't fantasize about the perfect tux and the most romantic wedding. Not only are men jittery about the idea of weddings but many are phobic about the whole commitment thing in any form. Many don't really want to be boyfriends either.

There's a little history to commitment phobia too. Way back when marriage was primarily an economic union, it was a fair exchange. Men had the money. Women had the womb and the housekeeping skills. No matter that many believe it was a kind of prison for women, from a man's perspective, it was also a prison for them -- a place where someone ELSE spent most of their money. A place where expensive children kept appearing. A place where there was pressure to produce much more than food on the table. After all, we saw a lot of cute material goods at those quilting bees and often came home with, "Honey, the Jones' have a new dishwasher, second car, vacation home etc." We expected him to help us keep up with them. That's a lot of pressure for one guy.

Of course, it's different today with us bringing home a paycheck too, but not really. It's true that in more than a quarter of American marriages, the woman earns MORE money than her husband and in another quarter, she earns equal money. So, today marriage isn't always an economic trap for men. Except that now we've upped the anti and because of our paychecks, expect to keep up with not only the Jones' but also the Rockefellers.

And now that we've gained some economic power at home, we women are also putting pressure on men to commit more than resources. A good paycheck isn't enough anymore. We can get that ourselves. We need much more from men today. We want intimacy! We want a satisfying sex life! We want a participatory father! And, yes, we still want the trash carried out! That's why committing to a woman is more scary for men than ever.


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