In this day and age, girls may have more freedom to pursue their dreams but they also have more confusion. The working world they will enter is still not a place where feminine energy is rewarded and the messages that women are being sent about sexual freedom may be setting them back. Because men and women are not equal, they are different, not one gender more powerful than the other. They may have many similar skills but their reward system is very different. Women value relationships and men value competition and power. So how do we help our girls “find themselves” as women in a world with so many choices and so few roadmaps? This is the first of five blogs can give Moms a few clues, and the word of the day is RESPECT.
Respect her Body from the Get Go. Our daughters won’t be able to respect their own bodies if we are intrusive. And this respect starts with the diaper change. When you change you infants diaper, give verbal explanations for what you are doing even if you think they can’t understand. (Babies understand most of their mother-tongue long before they ever have the muscular ability to form words.) Imagine you are a helpless being, captive in the land of giants. How would you like to be touched, cleaned, and bathed? As she grows older, give her privacy and teach her about good/touch, bad/touch and physical boundaries.
And, model self-respect yourself. We’ve all heard the adage that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. And Mama, you are the tree from which she will spring. Your actions will have a much greater impact on your daughter than your words. Trust me, soon she won’t even hear you because of that darned ipod! So, it is very important that we respect ourselves. That may mean speaking up in defense of yourself or your family, protecting yourself from damaging relationships or simply living the values that you hope your daughter will live.
How you live is the most important way you parent. Teaching your daughter be not give herself pain by being respectful of yourself can go a long way to boosting her self esteem. Tomorrow: Teaching emotional intelligence along with an academic education.
One thing I’ve always wondered about is what is better for a girl…starting the mating early on or waiting? Which would build more self-confidence and self-respect and satisfaction out of life?