Of course we are splitting hairs here. Both men can jointly claim rights to the worst husband of the year award. Former presidential candidate, John Edwards had a love affair and fathered a baby out of wedlock while his wife was being treated for cancer. And, Tiger Woods, well, he dipped his stick in a pletheura of “liberated” women while wifey was pregnant and/or breastfeeding.
I appeared on two CNN shows yesterday to debate the hot topic and was surprised that in one not-very-scientific poll, viewers voted John Edwards the biggest skunk, because he was, after all, not only lying to his ailing wife, but he was lying to the voting public as well. Okay, so I get it. With Edwards, many Americans have a personal axe to grind. But now I ask you to stop thinking like a voter and instead think like a wife. Which dog would you prefer, if you had to be married to one?
To help you ponder this Sophie’s-choice, allow me to tell you about an enlightening psychology study. A group of married women were asked to choose which behavior they would prefer they husband engaged in: A) platonic, though emotionally intimate lunches with a co-worker or B) visits with a prostitute. If you’re a woman reading this, you might have guessed already that the prostitute won hands down over the work-wife. Anthropologists suggest that women fear a redirection of family resources before they worry about a little extra-cirricular nooky. And a business transaction with a prostitute represents a quantifiable amount of resource extraction. Now an emotionally intimate friendship is another matter — he could open the flood gates of the family bank account with that one. His platonic friendship could certainly morph into a full-blown love affair but even if it didn’t, that woman’s close family member might become ill or she might get that Vegas virus herself and boom, there’s her kind, deeply connected friend — your husband! — to write a check.
So, if you look at that study and place it as an overlay on the Edwards/Woods debate, Edwards still looks like the worst husband. An emotional and sexually intimate affair that produced a financially dependent child to boot. That’s a work wife who clearly opened the flood gates! At least Tiger didn’t put all his eggs in one basket. His liasons with loose women were a simple exchange of sex for a few party invites and souvenir text messages. It seems almost acceptable. Until you add one element that that psychologoical study did not factor in: The HIV virus.
The more sexual acts with promiscuos women (and who knows what else) the more likely one is to acquire AIDS. Just ask Magic Johnson. Now I want you to imagine a slightly different, though highly plausible, scenario in this debate. You have John Edwards on the one hand, grieving over the potential loss of his wife, falling into the arms of a caring woman who accidently becomes pregnant. And the only way to keep the very job that provides income for both his families is to lie, lie, lie. (Still not excusible, but this is a just a hypothetical debate.)
And then you have Elin, a loving wife who is given a special gift from her husband — the HIV virus — and unknowingly passes it through amniotic fluid or breastmilk to her child. Now we have a man who not only had affairs but murdered his family! Enough said.
John Edwards, will you marry me?
Tags: John Edwards, Tiger Woods