Comments on: New Hope for Those Coping with the Death of a Child http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/2010/02/new-hope-for-those-coping-with-the-death-of-a-child/ Psychology of Human Attachment Blog Sun, 08 Jan 2012 03:21:06 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Bethany Belton http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/2010/02/new-hope-for-those-coping-with-the-death-of-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-952 Bethany Belton Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:01:37 +0000 http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/?p=617#comment-952 Upon reflection, I understand that a Mother losing a child is a greater and more profoud grief that exceeds the grief of losing Siblings - so I'll just add that it continues to leave me baffled that my Mom never went for any Therapy - but relied heavily on her deep and unwaivering (sp?) Faith. Wild, eh? And SHE'S the one telling me we have so much to be thankful for. I will always be in awe as to how she managed through the saddest story a Mother can live through. Keep writinig! Beth Upon reflection, I understand that a Mother losing a child is a greater and more profoud grief that exceeds the grief of losing Siblings – so I’ll just add that it continues to leave me baffled that my Mom never went for any Therapy – but relied heavily on her deep and unwaivering (sp?) Faith.

Wild, eh? And SHE’S the one telling me we have so much to be thankful for.

I will always be in awe as to how she managed through the saddest story a Mother can live through.

Keep writinig!

Beth

]]> By: Bethany Belton http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/2010/02/new-hope-for-those-coping-with-the-death-of-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-951 Bethany Belton Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:44:28 +0000 http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/?p=617#comment-951 Beautiful piece, Wendy. Grief is only half of the battle. When my 2 Sisters dies (8 months apart) I was overwhelmed with Survor Guilt big time. Why them and not me??? Neither of my Sisters smoked, or drank - both had beautiful marriages with good men, and both were Moms and had important jobs (Nan taught Nursing & Maggie was a High School Teacher). I smoked (at the time) I drank more wine than I should have and I didn't have kids; my marriage was factious (sp?) at best (and now over) and I still believe that both of them could have handled loosing me better than I managed loosing them (if that makes sense). And, I didn't know what to be sadder about. My precious Sisters GONE, my beautiful Neices and Nephew loosing a Mom, or my dear sweet Mom having to bury 2 of her Girls. I could not have survived without Therapy. And, although I am doing better than pre-Therapy - you never fully get over the grief from a death, you just find a better way of dealing with it. I allow myself to be sad about if and feel the pain for a certain length of time, then have to cut it off and know how much my Sis's would want me to move on as happily as feasibly possible and live! Therapy is manditory, however, the grief over a death never really goes away. You're just taught on how to manage it. Thanks for listening. Beth Beautiful piece, Wendy.

Grief is only half of the battle. When my 2 Sisters dies (8 months apart) I was overwhelmed with Survor Guilt big time. Why them and not me??? Neither of my Sisters smoked, or drank – both had beautiful marriages with good men, and both were Moms and had important jobs (Nan taught Nursing & Maggie was a High School Teacher).

I smoked (at the time) I drank more wine than I should have and I didn’t have kids; my marriage was factious (sp?) at best (and now over) and I still believe that both of them could have handled loosing me better than I managed loosing them (if that makes sense).

And, I didn’t know what to be sadder about. My precious Sisters GONE, my beautiful Neices and Nephew loosing a Mom, or my dear sweet Mom having to bury 2 of her Girls.

I could not have survived without Therapy. And, although I am doing better than pre-Therapy – you never fully get over the grief from a death, you just find a better way of dealing with it.

I allow myself to be sad about if and feel the pain for a certain length of time, then have to cut it off and know how much my Sis’s would want me to move on as happily as feasibly possible and live!

Therapy is manditory, however, the grief over a death never really goes away. You’re just taught on how to manage it.

Thanks for listening.

Beth

]]> By: Adam Sheck http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/2010/02/new-hope-for-those-coping-with-the-death-of-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-950 Adam Sheck Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:52:27 +0000 http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/?p=617#comment-950 Glad that there's a little more research into it. It's a very underserved population, for many reasons. I agree, it can be survived. My own personal experience, almost twenty years later, is that it takes time and a lot of work and some type of spiritual connection and a lot of contemplation to get there. And, it's still always there, it just doesn't have to dominate the present. Glad that there’s a little more research into it. It’s a very underserved population, for many reasons. I agree, it can be survived. My own personal experience, almost twenty years later, is that it takes time and a lot of work and some type of spiritual connection and a lot of contemplation to get there. And, it’s still always there, it just doesn’t have to dominate the present.

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