Comments on: Tiger Woods – Listen Up Ladies and Gentlemen!

By: Tim

Tim — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 11:43:22 +0000

Dr Walsh

Conversely, marriage also becomes a substitute for the empathy and compassion useful to keep people faithful to their partners. I see way too often people who change significantly within months of marriage, particularly along the lines of taking their partner for granted, assuming by virtue of marriage and the longevity of the relationship that they “know” what their partner wants rather than being bothered to ask. They fail to recognize that they themselves and their partners both continue to grow, develop new interests, new hobbies, desires etc and by virtue of the “gold ring” feel constrained to keep from change.

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:41:45 +0000

Well said, Tim. While marriage isn’t the best gate-keeper of individual morals, it can certainly play a role. It’s also a good public screener…. if someone isn’t even able to get married, you have to question their ability to be loyal. However, there is one thing far more powerful than marriage in helping people stay faithful to their partners: Empathy and Compassion. If one can get inside the head of the injured party and feel what they are feeling, then boundaries are easier to maintain.

By: Tim

Tim — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:16:53 +0000

The comments seem to beg the question: Is there a need for fidelity at all in today’s modern society? Women have power to control their own bodies and reproduction, a control denied for centuries. Women have the ability to provide for themselves and offspring they chose to have. Fidelity seems to be over-rated without the historical needs for binding the reproducer to the provider.

Now Dr. Walsh (and myself) will argue that emotional fidelity is a requirement of happiness and longevity. That without the ability to be emotionally committed to a person, life becomes nothing much more than a series of one-night stands and sexual gratification. Women actually would gain more from that type of environment because they have the ability to have and bond with children whereas men are incapable of producing a dependent.

Marriage and other formalized bonds are nothing more than attempts to socialize and use social pressure to impose a situation wherein at some level of success, emotional bonding might occur. Society recognizes that people get married in the Lust stage of a relationship and that without the artificial bond of marriage, many fewer relationships would survive through the doubt phase of relationship than currently do with our freedom to divorce. Only by enduring the doubt phase will couples attain the emotional intimacy phase necessary for psychological well being.

So back to the first question, do we really need a mechanism such as marriage to enforce people to stay together long enough to build a relationship to emotional intimacy? A mechanism requiring fidelity and having sociological and psychological punishments (such as are heaped on Tiger) for failure to remain faithful? By my own analysis, probably. Mankind is not yet ready to graduate to the point of maintaining a relationship solely by choice, although within 50 years, the concept of marriage will be unnecessary.

By: Donna

Donna — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:29:28 +0000

In response to one angry girl, I hate to tell you but the men who are running everything are precisely the ones with all of the access to the same type of girls who slept with Tiger and they are all doing the same thing, hope your husband isn’t one of them.

By: Donna

Donna — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:24:34 +0000

In response to Chris’ comment I think that the love and dedication that he has for his wife and marriage is beautiful. My husband and I feel the same way for each other. However, I think Tiger’s situation is somewhat different. I agree with Wendy that the women he was with are as equally to blame. Men constantly hit on women and we could care less, but if a women is constantly throwing herself at a man it is much more difficult to say no. Think about yourself honestly. Do you think it would be easy for you to continually fend off beautiful women throwing themselves at you??? I think to the first 10 you might say “no thanks I am happily married to a women I totally love and adore” but at some point (maybe after the 30th)the temptation is to great for a man. This is different for women. That is why I would never want to be married to a celebrity.

By: Donna

Donna — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:02:02 +0000

I think Tiger is at fault but what about the whores who lined up to sleep with him for money? Before women had more respect for themselves. The degradation of society is evident in many forms. One more example is the acceptance of young, normal, pretty girls charging for sex and knowingly sleeping with married men. Tiger’s “girlfriends” are not even looked at as the low lives that they are, the media doesn’t even discuss the fact that they did anything wrong, we just accept it as normal and place all the blame on Tiger.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:59:21 +0000

If any women out thier thinks that thier husband will say no to a georgeous woman throwing herself at him – wake up and smell the coffee. Luckily, most of our husbands don’t have that much luck or think they will not get away with it. In Tiger’s case he started with one, got away with it and progressively made it into a habit. Then he got to confident, like any criminal, and eventually slipped up and got caught. But society has become more and more accepting of whorish behavior so nowadays it is no big deal for women to throw themselves at married men or charge for sex. This used to be different which made it a little more difficult for men, but women make it so easy for men it is very difficult for them to say no and women are way more easy than they used to be. Tiger is a fault for lacking self control but the whores who were looking for easy money are even more at fault.

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:30:30 +0000

I wasn’t being sarcastic about Mark’s message. But, sadly, I was being biased. Because he also preaches about what men should do to keep their partners faithful. In truth both partners, both genders (or same-sex partners for that matter) need to respect their partner enough to take care of themselves. Men are visual creatures. If the woman they married gains eight pounds she is no longer the woman he married, because he signed up for the whole package. And the same applies to men. As you know, as a man who is devoted to your gal, if we take our partner for granted, we risk losing him/her. You should check out Mark’s website. He also suggests that married partners travel together and celebrate each other as much as possible.

By: Chris

Chris — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:51:35 +0000

Let me just refer to one part of your blog:
“I spoke with one such man yesterday, Mark Verge, a happily married guy whose book, “Access to the Boys Club” preaches techniques for fidelity for couples. Mark’s message includes tips for wives to help keep their man satisfied.”

Maybe I’ve had a long day at work and I am missing the sarcasm. Are you saying you condone this “happily married” guy’s tips for “wives to keep their man satisfied”? Or are you saying this dick is exactly what is wrong with marriages today? (I would hope for the latter)

Of course an arrogant “alpha-male” is happily married if all his wife does is try to keep him satisfied, because it doesn’t seem that he needs to do anything in that relationship…where is her life in all of that? Is she supposed to be content with being subject to him? As long as he is satisfied, that’s the only thing that matters…

I also don’t appreciate dumbing down feminism to “women own their own orgasm and a box of Trojans.” It’s a hell of a lot more than that and you know it…

I have not read any of your blogs/posts before, but maybe I will and maybe I will eat crow later…I certainly hope I do. This is a hot button issue for me, because I love and adore the woman I have been with for 12 years, and the thought that she is kept from doing anything or succeeding at anything she wants because she is female makes me want to rip someone’s head off…

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:07:12 +0000

Women are part of the village we call our culture. And they are 50% of the blame in marital infidelities. “Raining Whores” relates to our culture’s fascination with the sexual identity of women over other important powers — nurturing ability, emotional models, intellectual achievers. Unfortunately, some women (and men) feel they are making personal choices and fail to see cultural pressures.