Back in 2003 when glamorous Hollywood leading lady, Sandra Bullock first laid eyes on Jesse James, a tattoo-covered motorcycle enthusiast, the rest of the world collectively raised their eyebrows. But Sandra, apparently, was in love’s delusional la-la land, telling people that there are church going family men who fool around on their wives, so appearances can be deceiving.
In the case of Jesse James, appearances seemed to have been accurate. When she met James, he was already on his second marriage, this one to a porn star who would go to jail for tax evasion. He had two kids with the first wife and another child on the way when he shifted his focus from his pregnant wife to the bigger prize, Sandra Bullock. Today, after five years of marriage, the former body guard and star of Discovery Channel’s “Monster Garage,” has issued an apology to his wife and children, while a sexy tattoo model (who knew such a career existed?) is blabbing to the media about her hot affair with Mr. Sandra Bullock.
So, what’s a girl to do when a man targets her and then showers her with love and lies? Answer: Read his rap sheet not his lips. If the trail he took to get to you is lined with the bodies of disappointed women, your only job is to stop that bad boy before he reproduces.
It’s an old adage, but if you want to predict someone’s future behavior, look no further than their past behavior. As Sigmund Freud so brilliantly observed, “human beings have a compulsion to repeat.” Or, as modern relationship experts prefer to word it, “Leopards don’t change their spots.”
Could Sandra have avoided this the Jesse James heart break? After all, when she married at the age of 41, few potential partners would have a squeaky clean relationship track record — or they wouldn’t be single at all. What she could have done, if she, like so many other women could shake her infatuation with hope, is to keep her own values intact. The flirtations of a married man should never be accepted. Ever. And pay close attention to his history, not his rationalizations for his “situation.” Sadly, his history is her future. Not surprisingly, James told his latest paramour (likely not his only affair) that he and Sandra were separated while she was actually off filming “The Blind Side.”
Tags: Jesse James, Sandra Bullock
I was trying to compose my thoughts on the way home tonight but you have done it for me
Exactly what I would have said.
Although didn’t some of us hope we were wrong for Sandra’s sake?
I agree with most of this but the end. You are taking this mistress for her word. How do we KNOW if Jesse told her that he was separated? Another man came forward today, a photographer, who said that Mistress Michelle also went to his wife and friends and stated that she had an affair with him, and that she thought he was separated…the same story she is telling about Jesse. I doubt she is telling the truth. She simply wants to look like a victim rather than a homewrecker and by saying HE said they were separated, this takes the blame off of her.
I would ask you Dr. Wendy if you would write up an article on the women who cheat with married men. I’d like to have some insight on that angle.
So to take this to the ludicrous. Never bother dating someone who has been divorced because they will get divorced again?
This isn’t very good advice. It may be true Pavlovian style that people tend to repeat, but it is the extension of TRUST and belief, taking the risk of hurt which will heal these relationships, not building barriers and focus on distrust and “rap sheets”