This morning I watched an interesting debate on ESPN News. The male anchors expounded psychological theories of gender roles, the warrior code, and men’s ability to compartmentalize. Of course, they thought they were just talking about Laker Kobe Bryant’s pause to kiss his daughters at half time during game one of the NBA finals last night.
Most of the ESPN talent chalked up Kobe’s “transgression” (an act of tenderness mid-war) to the privilege of celebrity. They argued that a franchise player without a camera on his heels would have been reprimanded by coach Phil Jackson and called “soft” by his team mates.
Then they went on to ask how Kobe’s head could be completely in the game if he took time to act like a loving father while wearing the armor of a warrior at battle. After all, minutes before hand, he’d been oblivious to Chris Rock‘s monologue beside the Laker bench. And now he was kissing babies?!
Well, gentlemen, let me break it down for you. A male brain is unique. Men have a very unique ability to compartmentalize, that is, go so deeply into a mental compartment that they tune out other stimuli. Studies have shown that when men watch sports, their wife’s voice in the background sounds a lot like the adults in a Charles Schutz “Peanuts” cartoon, “Waw-aw. Waw-aw. Waw-awn.” One fascinating study asked men and women to listen to two audio stories simultaneously yet follow only one. One narration fed through a right earphone and the other a left. Women, who tend to be multitaskers, found their brains scrambling to follow both stories and often got confused. Men were more easily able to key into one story and tune out the other. Now that’s compartmentalization.
The other thing men can do is slip pretty easily from one compartment into another when they perceive that it is safe to redirect their attention. Thus, a man can juggle calls from work, his mistress, and his wife when there is little threat of being caught. Should his wife, mistress, or boss enter his office, however, he will be quick to focus and eliminate the two other stimuli.
So, while Kobe couldn’t hear Chris Rock during the game, his stress responses were lowered with the half-time bell and the Laker’s comfortable lead, making it was easy for him to morph into “Daddy” on his way to the locker room.
But the bigger question had to do with masculinity and tenderness. Can a warrior be tender? Of course he can. And he always has been tender behind closed doors. And now he can do it publicly. Thank you Kobe.
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