It’s the quiet hour. 4:30 am. Club hoppers are down, shift workers yet to rise, and I must strain to catch the low whistle of my children’s deep-slumber breath. A good time to think. And this morning I am thinking about happiness. To be more specific, I am thinking about choices and circumstance as they relate to happiness.
According to research, happiness is both a genetic predisposition and a result of good choices, mostly in the arena of relationships. One study of sixteen cultures, sponsored by Coke, pointed to the fact that happiness is most directly correlated with quality and quantity of human connections. Except for the extremely poverty stricken, the support of friends, family, and lovers seems to override affluence as a key ingredient for happiness.
But if we set aside disposition and human connections for a moment, I think there are two very important concepts to consider. They are choices and circumstance. Living in this great recession, like many Americans, I am in a particular circumstance, one wrought with worry about how best to extract resources from my environment. How to balance care for my children with time spent procuring food, so to speak. In some ways it feels like this circumstance has limited my choices. But has it?
Truly limiting circumstances are being faced by the trapped Chilean miners, the flood victims in Pakistan, sex slaves, people with challenging health disabilities, and even new parents held captive by a demanding newborn. Yet, even in those circumstances, when the range of opportunities seems narrow, there exist small openings of maneuverability. The miners have organized into three-man squads with a functional hierarchy and task-specifc goals. Everyday a few young female sex slaves bravely walk out of brothels into the arms of relief organizations. People with disabilities choose to fight for life.
And, house-bound new mothers choose to forge what might be lifelong friendships in breastfeeding support groups and baby yoga classes.
And, even in Pakistan, choices can mean happiness or even death. A smiling grandmother and mother of eight, Siraj Begum, spent three days with her family on the roof of their home when their village was flooded, waving frantically to military choppers who ignored them. Only when she made the choice to wave her shawl and bed sheet did they finally drop some water, juice, and biscuits. Now, according to an NPR.org article, Siraj finds humor in the whole ordeal. “The reason we were rescued so late,” she laughs, “is because I was waving and using hand signals that the pilot just didn’t understand.”
Our circumstances may change and confine us but can they stop happiness altogether? Can happiness itself be a choice? I believe it can. In my particular case, as long as my oxygen mask is firmly in place (that is, I am not hungry or tired) I can choose to put a comedic lens on life. I can choose to find humor in the millions of things that go wrong in a day and find deep surprise and appreciation when things go uncannily right. I am primed to do this because I believe two things. One: Life isn’t supposed to be easy. And, two: At any given moment others are suffering more, so I feel lucky. This is the basis for my choice to feel happy, most of the time.
Circumstance may change the choices available to us, but it rarely obliterates our choice for happiness. Choose it today. I plan to, although I’ll be tired. It’s 5:30 am. Should I bother going back to sleep?
Tags: chilean miners, happiness
I love this thought and perception! Great topic and blog!. Happiness is a choice and perception is strong. Circumstances may change and that we may or may not be able to control, but the power to change our own minds is a choice that we all have in any circumstance.