Sometimes feelings of ambivalence show up in plenty of “good enough” relationships when things change in the environment. Your sexual opportunities could have suddenly increased because you lost weight or started at new job or school. Or, your partner’s romantic ideal could have taken a ding if he or she has lost her job (with the ensuing loss of self-esteem) or gained weight, or appears to be taking the relationship for granted and not doing the work of relationship maintenance.
All those situations aren’t necessarily ground for a relationship mutiny, especially if children are involved, but they can be a signal that your life needs to have some regular relationship tune ups. Read here about things you can do for your relationship today.
But I will tell you this. There are four things that make a relationship a toxic place for you to grow and an even more dangerous place for children. And if any of these things exist, it may be time to stop rationalizing your partner’s behavior and move on:
1. Drug or alcohol abuse
2. Domestic violence
3. Child abuse (emotional or physical)
4. Chronic cheating
But other than those four toxic traits, most relationships can be improved with a little tender love and care. Like a garden that needs eater, sun, and nutrition, a relationship needs alone time, communication, and healthy conflict resolution skills, all things that can be learned.