FOR SINGLES: What’s Your Human Mating Status?

Bored, overweight man sits on the sofaThe best relationship advice I can give you is to know your own mate status. It is crucial to human mating success. That’s because the most effective mating strategy is to target potential mates who have about the same mate rating as you. If you shoot too hire you risk failing and end up without a mate. And if you shoot too low, you may end up dis-satisfied in your relationships.

But what exactly is a mate status and how does one know their value on the mating market? The answers, are a bit complex, but rest assured, evolutionary psychologists and social scientists have studied this stuff at length. And, yes, human mating is a serious science.

First of all, studies that span many cultures show that men and women tend to value different traits in a mate. A female “ten” looks a whole lot different than a male “ten.” Men tend to value, beauty, youth and trustworthiness and loyalty (in that order) and females tend to value men on income, intelligence, kindness, and looks (in that order.) That’s why it is common to see a short, bald wealthy man with a woman who looks like a model.

But the tricky part is keeping personal psychology aligned with society’s idea of mate value. Some people over estimate their dating worth and lose out, while others underestimate their value because they have low self esteem. Then there’s the other psychological piece: attachment style. Even people with a high human mating value may lose in evolution’s game if they can’t form a secure, trusting bond and raise offspring that grow up healthy enough to produce more offspring.

The most common question I get is how to find a mate if you are a woman who doesn’t look like a super model or a man who doesn’t make a lot of money. The answer is to focus on the things you may have more control over. Both genders are attracted to healthy partners. Paying attention to diet and exercise is a good mating strategy. And, since women look for intelligence and kindness in men, focussing on education and altruism will catch the eye of women. For men, it’s all about trust. Women who behave in an honest and loyal way are sexy to men. Also, research shows that may have short term relationships with hot women but when it comes to choosing a long term partner, men choose less attractive women.

In the end, it’s important to remember that there is someone for everyone. And a solid, supportive relationship is the best thing you can do for your health.

For more watch my Youtube video on:

The Differences In Men and Women’s Sexuality


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