The only recent update is that authorities have dismissed her claim of “unwanted sexual contact” and her attorney said the case would be handled “civilly.” Read: For money not jail time. The sources are mostly tabloid. The National Enquirer broke the story four years ago and this week the New York Daily News tells it this way: In 2006, while staying at an upscale hotel on Portland, Oregon, Mr. Gore scheduled a massage under the name “Mr. Stone.” Then while the massage therapist was doing the abdominal portion of the massage, he made some moaning sounds and asked her to go lower, even attempting to guide her hand down below.

There are few things to consider when thinking about this story. Included in my thought process are this: the physiological possibilities of a man in deep relaxation, the wide-range of services and specialties available in the massage industry, and the biggest issue of all, personal boundaries verses perception of personal injury. So, for the purposes of this hypothetical examination, let’s assume this woman’s allegations are true. We don’t even know it that is so. And, let’s start with what happens to a man in deep relaxation. Anyone with a husband knows that spontaneous erections happen all the time during sleep. Hard-ons happen. Especially during a massage. Which is one of the reasons that female massage therapists dominate the industry. Heterosexual male clients feel too uncomfortable having a spontaneous erection at the hands of a man. So, let’s assume a hard-on happened during the massage. And any woman with a boyfriend knows that when some men get a hard-on, it appears that all the blood from their brain drains out to puff up their appendage. Thus many men have the capacity to make poor decisions when they are aroused. Now, let’s assume, solely for the purposes of scientific examination, that this was in fact the inconvenient truth for our dear former VP.

But besides biology, let’s place a little blame on the massage industry. In America, the quality and nature of massage services can run the gamut from licensed physical therapists who work with doctors, spa therapists who focus on sports massage and relaxation, to massage studios that offer a “full body release” (yes, that’s code for a complimentary hand-job,) to illegal massage parlors that offer sex for sale. Who knows which kinds of massage services big Al has had in the past. Might he mistakenly assumed that he was getting a full body service in Portland? Opps. Wrong kind of massage therapist, Mr. Gore.

Finally, there is the issue of boundaries. Everyone has a comfort level with levels of sexuality, both in what acts they can tolerate and how comfortable they are in making sexual requests. Maybe Al Gore, if the story is even true, has a good ability to communicate his sexual needs. Kudos to Al. On the flip side, maybe the massage therapist is particularly sensitive to sexual injury. One massage therapist might have brushed off his advance with a tsk! tsk! and a little admonishing to the cheeky boy while another might perceive the same interchange as a sexual assault. Injury is in the eye of the recipient. Let’s hope the whole thing was a big misunderstanding. Miss Prissy massage therapist can hopefully get some cash to mend her wound and Big Al can learn to stay awake during a massage. Boys will be boys.

P.S. Only because blog readers will claim that I forgot to mention this. Al Gore was married at the time. Is it okay for a married man to have a sterile, hand job in a professional setting? That’s fodder for another blog.

In truth, back when the “til death do us part” section of the marriage contract was inserted (some say in Ancient Greece) death itself was pretty imminent. Life expectancy was short. Plagues and war took many lives and nearly 50% of women died in childbirth. So promising to stay together until death was a fairly safe bet.

Today serial monogamy trumps lifelong unions, and for good reason. We live a whole lot longer. The qualities required of a partner to say, get us through college and embark on a career, or to have a stint of child raising, or entertain a peaceful retirement may be quite distinct, that is, we may choose someone entirely different for each of those tasks. I am only of the opinion that a marriage should last as long as the projects it creates, thus, until the kids are raised or the house reno is complete.

Now having said that, do I believe that too many couples today throw in the towel way too early? Yes. Too many people bail when sexual feelings and romantic fantasies give way to the hard work and boredom of long term monogamy. Or they simply have so few relationship tools that divorcing feels like the only option. These couples have much to learn.

But this is not the case with the Gore’s. They have done their learning and ridden out the bumps. They should be popping champagne to celebrate. They had a forty year successful marriage. Here’s to your next relationships, Al and Tipper!