Posts Tagged ‘Gender Testing’

Why Men Stray More than Women (And How to Prevent Cheating)

Friday, February 26th, 2010

It is estimated that 65% of divorces occur  because of an extra-marital affair. And, despite the sexual revolution and the reduction of the “double standard,” more men still cheat than women. Now science shows us why this gender imbalance might exist.

First, there could be a genetic link. Swedish researchers recently identified an “infidelity gene,” which is present in four of 10 men. This gene can explain why some men are more prone to stormy relationships and bond less to their wives or girlfriends. However, it’s important to remember that biology is not destiny. People born with genetic predispositions to say, heart disease or obesity, make lifestyle adjustments that compensate for the negative gene.

Secondly, men may find it easier to cheat because they feel less guilt than woman. A Spanish study recently revealed that the interpersonal sensitivity of men (especially those aged between 25-33) is low compared to women. This clearly could affect a man’s ability to empathize with his partner. The study also showed that men feel less intense guilt and this difference is particularly stark in the 40-50-year-old age group, a group particularly vulnerable to the mid-life crisis affair.

Finally, more men fear emotional intimacy more than do women. Believe it or not, some men find lovers so they can  avoid any real intimacy. Emotional closeness and the expression of vulnerability that goes with it scares many men, so they distance themselves from their wives by cheating on them. At the same time,  they don’t get too emotionally involved with their lovers. This kind of “watering down of the milk” feels safer to some men.

As always, my solution to bullet-proof relationships is to grow a bond through emotional intimacy. To make a relationship  rock-solid, one must move a step or two closer to the bone, and hone some relationship skills. Compassion can be learned. Fair-fighting is a skill. And stonewalling is a killer of all connection. Intimacy is not easy nor painfree. Extreme emotional intimacy and mutual care may involve squeamish feelings of shame, the forced expression of awkward words, an ability to see the ugly in others and still love them, and worse,  the ability to glaringly see the ugly in ourselves and still feel lovable. But the pay-back is pure kryptonite. An I’ve-got-your-back-if-you’ve-got-mine emotional contract that can make your relationship affair-proof.


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Caster Semenya: Feeling Life With Two Genders

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

Runner Caster Semenya

Caster Semenya, the 18 year old South African runner who took the medal for the women’s world 800m last month, has now declined to race in an upcoming event even though a decision has not been made about whether to take back her medals. In one of the biggest gender scandals in international sports, unconfirmed reports say that Caster’s body contains pieces of both genders. She has no womb or ovaries, and although her testosterone levels are higher than most women, she is still within the bounds of regulations for female athletes.

The most important piece of this for me is that Caster Semenya self identifies as a woman and has been aculturated through feminine roles. Gender is, in part, biological and in a big way, psychological. Imagine her struggle growing up in a world that puts people into two neatly stacked piles called male and female, and feeling like she doesn’t quite fit into either? Plus, she’s an 18-year-old! Teenagers at this age are struggling with identity issues anyway as they individuate from their families and peers. Imagine the humiliation of having the entire world study your genitalia at this vulnerable stage of development! No wonder, this poor girl has dropped out of another race.

Many in the fields of psychiatry, psychology, and endocrinology have long acknowledged that human beings may fall into a third gender category: that is, a catch-all group of people whose gender is not clearly defined based on chromosomes, external genitalia, and gender identity. Human cells contain 22 pairs of matched autosomes and one pair of sex chromosomes. A classic female has two X chromosomes, and a male has an X and a Y. However, over 70 different variations of the sex chromosomes have been identified, and prenatal hormonal processes can be affected as well. The point of this article is not to give you a biology lesson nor speculate on the chromosomal makeup of Caster Semenya. Rather, it is to pose the question of whether it makes continued sense to lump all people into two neatly stacked categories of gender.

Historically, when a newborn was born with ambiguous genitalia, the parents were often asked to make a choice and the child endured a series of painful “cosmetic” procedures. These days, there’s a movement, mostly led by fetally androgenized females (those born with a vagina and a bonus, a structure that looks more male than female) to educate parents and discourage them from mutilating their precious bundle of joy until after puberty when gender is more set, and children can have a say in things.

And gender isn’t only biological. No matter what our chromosomes and genitalia indicate, gender identity is an individual matter. Some people feel more like a man.  Others more like a woman. And some feel somewhere in the middle. It’s also important to separate this discussion from sexual orientation — being gay, straight, or bisexual can happen with any chromosomal combination. In terms of sex and gender identity, we are one multifaceted world.

I say, if Caster Semenya’s testosterone levels (the hormone that affects athletic prowess) are within the boundaries of a female athlete, then let the lady run. Since she has no womb. Those medals are her babies. It will be very interesting to see which other female athletes get tested next.

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Boy, Girl … or Other?

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

boy_girl_or_other_pm-thumb-270x270Dr. Wendy Walsh: It’s the first three words that bring enormous excitement to any parent. Whether it’s read on an ultrasound, after an amniocentesis or CVS, or in the delivery room, hearing the sex of your child heralds an expectation of your parenting future. But what if the announcement is “other”?

Lately there has been much in the news about gender, particularly as it pertains to the world 800-meter women’s champion, South African runner Caster Semenya. The female track star with the masculine physique is currently undergoing gender tests, while her parents and some members of the South African media insist she’s a woman. Caster Semenya’s finish time was more than two seconds ahead of the second-place finisher, so Semenya’s gender has become the subject of an international investigation.

Many in the fields of psychiatry, psychology, and endocrinology have long acknowledged that human beings may fall into a third gender category: that is, a catch-all group of people whose gender is not clearly defined based on chromosomes, external genitalia, and gender identity. Human cells contain 22 pairs of matched autosomes and one pair of sex chromosomes. A classic female has two X chromosomes, and a male has an X and a Y.

However, over 70 different variations of the sex chromosomes have been identified, and prenatal hormonal processes can be affected as well. The two most common chromosomal variations are Turner syndrome (1 in 2,000 female births), where a baby is born with normal female genitalia, however their reproductive organs do not develop and they do not grow breasts at puberty. These gals are actually missing one chromosome, but they tend to always self-identify as a woman.

Then there’s Klinefelter’s syndrome (1 in 500 male births). These guys are born anatomically male, however they have an extra female chromosome that impedes the continued development of their male, ahem, structures. As you can imagine, people with Klinefelter’s have a high incidence of gender identity disorder.

Hormones play a role too. In this category, the two most common variations are fetally androgenized females, who are born with ovaries and a womb and, a bonus, an external genitalia that looks more male than female. Or, how about DHT-deficient males who look female before puberty and become masculinized at puberty, with testes that suddenly descend?

The point of this article is not to give you a biology lesson nor speculate on the chromosomal makeup of Caster Semenya. Rather, it is to pose the question of whether it makes continued sense to lump all people into two neatly stacked categories of gender.

Historically, when a newborn was born with ambiguous genitalia, the parents were often asked to make a choice and the child endured a series of painful “cosmetic” procedures. These days, there’s a movement, mostly led by fetally androgenized females, to educate parents and discourage them from mutilating their precious bundle of joy until after puberty when gender is more set, and children can have a say in things.

And gender isn’t only biological. No matter what our chromosomes and genitalia indicate, gender identity is an individual matter. Some people feel more like a man. Others more like a woman. And some feel somewhere in the middle. It’s also important to separate this discussion from sexual orientation — being gay, straight, or bisexual can happen with any chromosomal combination.

In terms of sex and gender identity, we are one multifaceted world. And that will surely be reflected when I finally see a school form that reads, Sex: Male? Female? or Other?

Read more: http://www.momlogic.com/2009/09/boy_girl_or_other_gender_identity_caster_semenya.php#ixzz0RK05scPl

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Posted in Gender, Parenting, Sexuality, Sports | No Comments »