Not so long ago, women who had sexual relationships with men who were legally bound to another woman were considered social outcasts. Our language clearly illustrated the sexual double standard that existed. While he was a gentleman who “stepped out” of his marriage, she was a whore, slut, or home-wrecker (as if he had never laid hands on the wreaking ball, himself.) My favorites are “Mistress” and “Kept Woman” because they, at least, imply some outlay of financial resources indicative of an emotional connection.
In cultures throughout history our complicated human social structures have always made room for extra-marital affairs. During the sexual repression of Victorian England where a high status woman faced scandal if even an ankle were exposed, the brothel business boomed. It is estimated that the ratio of prostitutes to males over the age of 18 in Victorian England was 12-1. And most of those young women died early from STD’s.
Sadly, the same tragedy is living itself out in the Indian/Asian sex slave business today. One of the shameful growing pains of feminism is that high status women are delaying marriage (often to the age of 30) to pursue a career, while keeping their hymens intact. The result is a lack of available sexual partners for men who are still required to marry a virgin. Today’s version of Victorian England? Millions of impoverished girls being sold into brothels by their own families.
But here in modern America, women have almost as much sexual freedom as men, and many seem to be happy to live it to the fullest. And, while the media pays lip service to the tired refrain of “she’s a home-wreaker,” Rielle Hunter, Rachel Uchitel, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, etc., the truth is the freedom these women have to stage a tell-all about their affairs is the new boundary for men. Women who were kept secret and sequestered for fear of public shame can now, come out of the closet or Vegas hotel room and, finally blame the one who broke his commitment.
I know you’ll beat me up for saying this, but none of these women ever stood at an alter with the wife of her man and made a commitment to honor her. Of course, you can argue that any card-carrying member of the girls club should honor all women, and that being young, female, single, and orgasm hungry, shouldn’t give you a hall pass to bad behavior. I totally agree with that. But who really broke their commitment to marriage? The single woman who has never met the wife, or the guy who met her, married her, and made a giant promise to her? Gentlemen, I hand you the wrecking ball.
One thought on “The New Trophy: A Married Man?”
I’m actually in favor of this Kiss and Tell All approach to affairs. Primarily, it will let guys know there is a significant risk to pursuing an extramarital affair, particularly if they have a high value spouse (Sandra Bullock) or high profile career (Tiger)
Unfortunately, it will have the adverse affect of continuing to increase the divorce rate and lessening the number of guys willing to be committed in a relationship.