FOR WOMEN: The Five Date Boyfriend Test

superstar-magazine-first-date-couple-lunch1In my book, The Boyfriend Test, I put women in the drivers seat on dates and remind them that they are doing the interviewing for the most important job position in the world, the job of best friend and lover. One of the tests in my book is called the “Five Date Consistency Test.” In five date consistency test you are looking to see if this is building into a relationship. Could this be a boyfriend? I mean, you’re only five dates in, this isn’t marriage material yet. You’re starting to see if he has the potential to be that dream man. So ask yourself these questions:

1. Is he making plans?: Is he still making and consistently keeping plans? Only lazy guys make the woman social director on the first two dates. If five dates into it he is still actively making plans, even if he is collaborating with you that is a good sign.

2. Is he Mr. Words or Mr. Action?: Has he followed up on the little promises he has made? Did he fix that car stereo like he said? Has he done it?!

3. Has he displayed anger?: He probably should not have displayed anger yet. He is still a peacock showing his feathers, being the fantasy prince for you. If he cannot hold his anger for five simple dates, this man may have anger management problem. I’m not saying there won’t be anger in the future, but he should be able to contain himself during the sales pitch.

4. Is he playing phone or text tag?: Is he starting to get inconsistent? Women think that’s a sign they should try harder. Pay attention, men don’t speak with words they speak with actions. Is he calling at home when he knows you are at work, or visa versa? Or is he taking longer to call or text back each time? Don’t let it heighten your fight or flight tendencies. Drop it.

5. How does he use email?: Sometimes e-mail can be a way into someone’s soul because it’s really hard for them to express themselves verbally. On the other hand, it can be used as a separation device, if they are calling less and shooting last minute e-mails more, probably not a good sign.

6. Trust your instincts: Women do not trust their intuition enough. We are programmed anthropologically to figure out the needs of a nonverbal human. We have the heightened instincts that make our gut instincts almost always right.

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