At some point of the dating game, we find ourselves to be single longer than expected. At first, the solitude may be welcome. You are finally free to catch up with the friends you left behind when you beamed into the love-bubble, to book that beach vacation, or try a new hobby. But after a time, the site of couples, the sounds of love songs and your mothers wish for grandkids brings a dreadful feeling: Will you be single forever? It’s important to take deal with such uncomfortable feelings because not only do they affect us mentally but physically as well. A study conducted by Jacqueline Olds, MD, professor of psychiatry of Harvard Medical School, showed that people dealing with loneliness for long periods of time had increased risks of depression, substance abuse and a weakened immune system.
Here are some tips to ease that feeling away:
- Awareness– Be conscious of how you feel and most importantly express it. Don’t conceal it! Act on it! Why do you think so many journals are sold every year. If you don’t write, then draw. using art as a way to express your feelings can be very beneficial. There are no good benefits for you to mentally lock your feelings away and not deal with it. It does not help you move on in life, it just blocks you from living it. Just because you are revealing a vulnerable side to yourself, it does not make you a weak person. It gives you strength by cleansing all of those negative thoughts out of your head.
- Have Compassion– It is human nature to be over critical and think you are the only person feeling this way, but that’s not true. Researchers from the University of Chicago found that people are 52 % more likely to feel lonely if a family member, friend is also lonely. Look around you and have compassion for yourself and others. Sigmund Freud said that “sublimation” (taking your own pain and helping others with the same pains) is a healthy way to heal. So, find those people and set up a dinner party, book a bowling night, or catch a comedy act. Hint: Laughter is the other remedy Freud liked.
- Don’t Wallow– Instead of ignoring and masking your loneliness, face it eye to eye. But after that, don’t wallow in your pain. Walk it out and talk in out. Yes, walking for 30 minutes in bright sunlight has been shown to help relieve depression. Then call some old friends and yabber away on the phone for a time.
Being alone may not be a fun to deal with but by having a positive mindset will help you find a new mate faster. If you your symptoms of depression include, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, a lack of motivation and uncontrollable anger, then seeking professional help may be in order. You deserve to feel love again. You’re worth it!