The final episode of television’s “The Bachelor” made Juan Pablo Galavis probably the most hated bachelor in the history of the popular ABC series. But did he deserve the backlash? Female viewers are particularly peeved that he never uttered the “L” word, nor did he do the bachelor expectation of a marriage proposal.
But the day after the final episode aired, he posted a YouTube video paying homage to his contestant of choice, Nikki Ferrell, calling her “Te adoro.” Okay, so he said, “I adore you” instead of “I love you” but are we splitting hairs? In my opinion, yes. It takes time to grow love and plenty of men are afraid of the word itself.
In my opinion, the real question is, can Juan Pablo Galavis make a commitment? It’s important to realize that some men prefer short term relationships and others are commitment oriented. And these preferences can change over the course of a lifetime, though some researchers are seeing a current trend away from marriage for many men. Barbara Whitehead and David Popenoe of Rutgers University’s National Marriage Project, say more men are choosing to not commit to marriage. The reasons sited? Fears, changes in society, and the change their routines once married. Those fears included the possibility of divorce and the financial hit a divorce causes.
Another study led by Jefferey Chadwick at Brigham Young University, found that one-third of men and women claimed to be scared of the responsibility of marriage, making it a lower priority. He found in his study, 29% of men put marriage on hold to create a strong career for themselves.
Granted, men are marrying older and plenty of couples are separating parenthood from marriage, more often in the middle and lower classes. But make no mistake, marriage is alive and well in the upper classes, educated circles and religious communities. If you are dating someone and wondering if he is marriage oriented, here are five indicators:
- His parents are still married
- He’s older than 27.
- He’s college educated
- Most of his friends are getting married
- He has a secure job.
And there are five more signs that a guy is commitment oriented in this video: