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For Men: First Date Strategies

Man getting ready for a date or weddingLet’s face it, first dates can feel downright awkward. Two people, pretending to be who they wish they were, while they keep their real motives hidden. Is she looking for a boyfriend or a fling? Is he thinking she could be wife material or a fun-time girl?

While traditional dating wisdom says that women decide within 30 seconds if they are physically attracted to a man, a study done by the University of Texas demonstrates that it takes twenty minutes for men to decide if they want to have a second date or not. The study also found that the more attractive a female date is, the more likely a man inclined to take her out again. (They needed a study to decide that?) And, the thing that keeps men strong and brave, even if they aren’t sure that she’s swooning, is the fact that men tend to over estimate how attracted a woman is. This crazy male trait can also set men up for a serious let down.

Here are three tips to help you men have a successful first date:

  1. Calm your nervous system. First dates can be wrought with anxiety. One way to ease that anxiety and calm down to act more relaxed and natural, is to boost your dopamine levels. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain that is released by nerve cells to send signals to other nerve cells that control motor skills, motivation, arousal and thinking. A study published by Current Biology,  found some foods, such as apples, bananas, and avocados, can increase dopamine levels. For your main entrée try ordering a plate of chicken, turkey or cheese. Food and drinks that will disrupt your dopamine are sugar, alcohol, and caffeine.
  2. Be What Women Love – While men put youth and beauty at the top of the list when choosing a mate, women put looks way farther down. Studies from around the world, show that women look for resources (Sigh. Income), intelligence, and kindness before they rate a man on looks. And the best way men can display intelligence is through humor. Kindness can we displayed  by treating everyone around you with respect, from the wait staff to the valet parker.
  3. Be Cool, Dude. That old deodorant ad tag line, “Never let them see you sweat” applies to first dates. Both genders what to feel like they are winning a prize. If you act too eager and energetic, she’ll devalue you. Instead, be kind. Be cool. And never ask her out for a second date until at least three days after the first day. Make he wonder if you like her. That’s how to play an “A” game.

And, if your date goes well and you hope it may lead to sex, arm yourself with knowledge about the differences between men and women’s sexuality. Watch my video here: