Tag Archives: sex drive

FOR COUPLES: Is Sex a Need or a Want?

loving-couple-72I like to think women are the custodians of the social order, especially when it comes to sexuality. Some feminists think that all woman can adopt a male model of sexuality, but what many don’t know is that the “male model” of player is a really rare guy. Most men, like women want love, bonding, attachment, and great sex. Never-the-less, many women have joined hook up culture. They think, “Free sex, isn’t that great!” Unfortunately, it’s made some men really lazy, because they don’t even have to use traditional courtship anymore because apparently they can just pick up the phone at 10:30 p.m.

So whenever I tell women that if they withhold sex, (or delay the onset of the physical relationships) just a little bit, they will get a lot more work out of men. Men will be much nicer to them. Remember, the word “No” is the world’s most powerful aphrodisiac. But I do hear some women say, “Oh are you saying we have to put our sexual needs aside, so we can train the boys?!” To this I respond, recent studies show women are having trouble adapting to the hookup culture. Of course we are. Most women bond through sex because oxytocin, the female bonding hormone is excreted during orgasm. Women love to try to create relationships through sex. Of course, If you plan on dying at 30 years old, and childless you can have the hookup culture for about 10 years. But at the end of the day, women are left holding the bag — the diaper bag, that is. Sex is still a high-risk game for us. We accept deposits, and it could be something awful like a bad STD, or it could be something beautiful and wonderful like a baby. But that’s still 18 years of hard labor. Let me tell you, single motherhood is not for sissies!


It got me thinking though, is sex really a need or a want? Can both genders control their sexuality? I think both genders can. It may be a little harder for men, but I know they are able to because I have seen them do it. Now what is a need? Hmm, need for survival? Well, water, air, food, companionship (they put the really bad ones in solitary confinement so it must be painful) and sex once! Just one homerun to procreate, that’s all we need. The rest of the time, it’s like a trip to Nieman Marcus, it’s a luxury. Don’t believe me? Just ask any military spouse with a partner serving abroad, priest, nun, prisoner or elderly widow. (Don’t count Betty White; I think she’s getting it.) My point is, we don’t need to have the amount of sex that the media is telling us we need to have. In fact, it can hurt women. It can be a dangerous activity for women to pretend they are boys. And boys become men when they have to work for sex, trust me. So why can’t we hold it in a bit? Come on women! Why can’t we be the custodians of the social order?