Tag Archives: sex problems

FOR COUPLES: Kissing More Important Than Sex

kissYou have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (or princess) and now science shows us why. All primates practice some form of kissing but only humans kiss with such passion and frequency. So researchers at Oxford University set out to find out why kissing is such an important human behavior, which proved to be strong relationship advice.

They discovered that kissing is more important to women than men and that people who prefer short-term relationships prefer kissing before sex, though not necessarily during or after sex.

Since women tend to be more selective when choosing someone to mate with, because the burden of reproduction and breastfeeding is on them, the research suggests that kissing is also a way for women to discern fitness of a partner. Kissing is like a biological litmus test with a new partner where the woman can unconsciously pick up tastes, smells, and caring behaviors through kissing to help them choose a guy who might be biologically and psychologically a good partner.

Finally, the research, published in both Archives of Sexual Behavior and Human Nature, also made a positive correlation between frequency of kissing and relationship quality. Interestingly, the same link could not be made with frequency of sex. In my opinion, kissing can go a long way to maintain daily bonds in long term relationships. Frequent sex, on the other hand, can sometimes indicate relationship insecurity in that some couples may have sex to compensate for emotional intimacy or have make up sex after frequent conflicts.

How often do you and your partner kiss?

FOR SINGLES: Revenge Porn Outlawed, Sort Of.

121881-c5b0232c-000f-11e3-aff6-4f37e7e71844There’s good news and bad news about the new California law that bans a jilted lover from posting his ex’s nude photos online. On the positive side, the new law has shut down a bunch of websites where men have been exchanging photos and videos of their ex-girlfriends for a fee. One big one, RevengePorn.com has sold its URL to a porn dating site, so don’t bother to log on unless you are looking for a tacky looking dating site that promises that “everyone gets laid.”

But the sad news is this: The law only covers photos taken by the one who posts them online. Eighty-per cent of nude sexting photos are taken by the victim and sent digitally via text messaging, while the couple is in the throws of romantic bliss. Those photos, the law deems, are gifts and the recipient is now the rightful owner to do whatever he or she pleases with them. It’s a clear “blame the victim” law that reinforces the double standard. According to this law, bad girls bring this on themselves.

I want people to understand how dangerous this brand of cyber bullying is. Some female victims, have had their nude photos splashed across their Facebook wall and even on their employer’s website. Some women have had to legally change their name to keep the photos from showing up in Google searches. Revenge porn has, tragically, even been a factor in suicides. All because a woman placed her heart and trust in a man who requested a digital memento.

Please call upon your lawmaker to ban all forms of revenge porn. This is a token law that barely scratches the surface of the deep crime involved.