The headlines strike us first: J-Lo’s and hubby split. George Clooney on the market again. Madonna losing her latest boy toy. Tiger Woods has had affairs.
The love lives of celebrities are the cash cow for most popular media. The biggest click-throughs on even hard news sites like The New York Times are often celebrity love. Why do celebrity relationships titillate us? Most of don’t have lives that involve an entourage who leaks, press who churn gossip, paparazzi who ambush, and much time spent in private airports hiding behind very large sunglasses. So comparing celebrity relationships with ours might seem fruitless, and even a bit grandiose. I mean, when was the last time we worried that our husband might be seduced by a starlet at a Hollywood Club?
Continue reading FOR SINGLES: Why Do Famous Couples Fascinate us?
Sex scandals aren’t new. And relatively speaking, most sex scandals aren’t even very scandalous anymore. We merely smile when famed pastor of a Georgia megachurch, Eddie Long, texts pictures to young men of himself wearing unfortunate tights. We yawn when aging athlete Brett Favre sends a digital capture of a certain appendage to a female reporter. And yesterday we rolled our eyes when NY congressman, Christopher Lee beamed a shirtless flexing torso to a woman on Craig’s list.
But common place or not, shocking or simply silly, this stuff still dominates the news. What is going on here? Have men in powerful positions become drunk with power? Has the digital age become the new moral police force? Are we a sex crazed society that plays fast and loose with moral promises to congregations, fans and constituents? And why, even though it’s mundane news to many of us, why does our beloved media love sex scandals?
Continue reading The Truth About Sex Scandals
With Hollywood luminaries like Sandra Bullock, Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise, and Hugh Jackman going the adoption route, and other late-life parents risking medical intervention to see their own genes replicate in a biological birth, the debate continues about what is best, for the individual, our culture, and the planet.
A few months back, I was invited to appear on CNN Newsroom with Don Lemon to talk about transracial adoption. Being that I am a doctor of psychology and the mother of two (biological) biracial children, I walk the issues everyday. Then last week, I was on HLN’s Showbiz Tonight commenting on celebrities who spend thousands of dollars and risk complications from medical interventions while undergoing in vitro fertilization. The two subjects got me thinking. When a loving couple or single parent faces infertility, which option really is best?
Of course there is no one right answer. Adoption and in vitro fertilization both carry financial, medical, and family dynamic risks.
Let’s start with economics. The average cost of in vitro is nearly $15,000 per cycle and adoption costs anywhere from five to forty-thousand dollars. But wait. Before you consider in vitro a bargain, know this: many cycles of in vitro are often required to create a pregnancy that goes full term. The success rate is 15-20% for women aged 38-40, and for women over forty, it is as low as 6%. Then there are the medical complications that can rack up more costs. Laparoscopy used to extract eggs carries risks related to the anesthesia. Then there’s the risks of infection, bleeding, damage to the bowel, bladder, or a blood vessel. Surgery to repair damage can also be costly. Bottom line: Adoption is cheaper and less physically risky.
Continue reading Infertility: Your Baby or The World’s?
If you’re old enough to remember Dustin Hoffman as the young man in 1967’s “The Graduate” being seduced by Anne Bancroft’s Mrs. Robinson, then you’re probably old enough now to be a cougar yourself. We’ve all heard about the female in our modern culture, quaintly referred to as a “Cougar.” The term is applied to a woman in the fall or winter of her life who prefers to date — and presumably have sex with — men in the spring of their lives. While the term cougar implies predatory behavior and some women have trouble with that prejorative, the trend has become so commonplace that it has spawned a TV series called “Cougar Town.”
Now researchers have focussed their lens on the phenomenon and unveiled some biological and social forces that make today’s “Mrs. Robinson” common place.
A recent study published in the Journal of Health Psychology, found that the old fashioned view of menopause as a time of waning sexual energy isn’t true for all women. And that far more influential on sexual behavior than hormonal changes are social and psychological factors. In other words, even if a woman’s sex-hormone levels decline with menopause, her sexual desire may not be affected if she feels youthful and fit and lives in a permissive environment with opportunities to meet younger (or older) men.
In fact, just before she hits full-on menopause, a woman’s sex drive may get a boost. In a paper published in Personality and Individual Differences by psychologists at the University of Texas, women age 27-45 have a heightened sex drive in response to their dwindling fertility. More and more women are waiting until their thirties and forties to bear children, and this study found that those women are more willing to engage in a variety of sexual activities to capitalize on their remaining childbearing years. Such “reproduction expediting” includes one-night stands and adventurous bedroom behavior, including seducing younger men.
Continue reading The Science of Cougars
Now here’s a teen who knows how to get Daddy’s attention. In a matter of days, Montana Fishburne, the nineteen-year-old daughter of film star Lawrence Fishburne has found instant fame, but not the kind her father is proud of.
It all started with her making her own sex tape in the vein of her role models, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, (nice choice Montana) and then signing a professional contract to get it distributed and become a career pornographic actress. No sooner, did daddy shake his head than a posse of his fellow stars banded together in an attempt to purchase all copies of her first porn DVD release. They failed. And the news for Lawrence went from bad to worse.
The latest reports are that his little Miss was arrested last fall for prostitution charges and is now on probation. As if that wasn’t enough, E! Online reported this week that Montana Fishbourne was arrested again in February for a violent assault on her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Then Montana got herself a Twitter account and further distanced herself from A – list Hollywood by attacking Jamie Foxx as being gay and also accused him of making a gay porn. She may face a slander and libel charge for that one.
All I can say is, “Daddy, do I have your attention yet?”
The truth is, no one but Montana knows what kind of father Lawrence Fishburne was. And sometimes problem children are immune to even the most mindful and loving parenting. But if family history is any indication, I’d bet my house that Montana is behaving like a toddler screaming for much needed attention.
Continue reading The Fishburne Family Business